literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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