He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
