I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
