The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
This is my gift to your gina
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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