No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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