Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm at about main and main street
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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