i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
