I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
