end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
