so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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