dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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