What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
