The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
