Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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