i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize