remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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