addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
