i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
