just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
