I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
do herpes really smell.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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