My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He shit in the fireplace
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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