Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
