Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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