If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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