Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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