At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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