So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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