so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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