totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
