this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
