Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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