I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
