You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
