The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
