Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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