Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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