You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
