I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
