I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
