reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
