I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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