Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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