I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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