thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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