I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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