Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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