in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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