Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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