i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You made out with two different species that night
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
