So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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