all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
