You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
