dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
