I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize