I'm gonna have a badass scar
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
it glows. i had to have it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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