I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
