Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
