hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
