After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
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