I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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