If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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