You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I am naked and annoyed.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize